Love Blogs2020-05-20T19:11:42+00:00

Is There Really a Way to Break it Off Gently?

The most gentle and kind way to break it off with someone is really very simple.  People often tend to over complicate ending their romantic partnerships.  It is common to: Find reasons and excuses to delay having the conversation; Use ambiguous language and lots of fluffy language to try and avoid hurting the other person’s feelings; Push the person away with coldness and distancing tactics instead of boldy ending it; and/or Disappear altogether without a trace. This is called ghosting:  (https://www.huffpost.com/entry/relationship-ghosting-now-you-see-me-now-you-dont_b_5a5e3efae4b01ccdd48b5fe9) ) and 50% of people admit to either ghosting someone or being ghosted These things are not gentle nor are they kind.  These things complicate what can otherwise be a straightforward process.  Avoidance techniques cause nothing more than a ton of sleepless nights, unnecessary drama, hurt feelings and damaged relationships. Once you have clarity that your romantic relationship is no longer serving you, there is a way to end the relationship with gentle kindness.  You must pull out your courage from wherever you keep it, and be direct, honest and unwavering with your soon to be ex-partner. I recently broke it off with a man I was dating.These are the exact words I said to him on the phone:  “I have spent some time [...]

By |May 27th, 2020|Uncategorized|

Is Prince(ss) Charming Ever Coming? Myth-Busting Romanticism in Relationship Narratives

“Love rests on two pillars: surrender and autonomy. Our need for togetherness exists alongside our need for separateness.” ― Esther Perel, Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic   When we are in relationship, we confuse commitment with timely and energetic responsibility. Yes, of course, in order to build a life we must invest time. But, that time we invest should not feel like a chore, it should feel like a choice. We’re here today to bust a myth: that when you find “the one” (whatever that means), you will want to spend all your time and all your energy with and on this person. There are a few sub-issues to this: A, that there is only one person out there floating around the cosmos, twiddling their thumbs waiting for your arrival, B, that when you find each other it will be smooth sailing, and lastly C, that you will only ever want them and no one else. To be very blunt, this is bullshit. For all of you that have ever been in a relationship, we know that these are romanticisations of reality that actually stop us from finding healthy and grounded relationships. To actually create a common ground [...]

By |May 27th, 2020|Uncategorized|

What ‘Love Languages’ Taught Me About My Relationship

The first time I learned about Love Languages was on a roadtrip with a now ex-partner. Our relationship was precarious, and the topic seemed chosen by him as a power play that would allow us to talk about our rocky relationship without openly “talking about us.” Presumably, he explained, each of us has a specific ‘language’ we use to communicate our love, and another with which we best receive love. At the time, this sounded mostly like a horoscope gone wrong, and a recipe for eye rolls, but after some goading, I agreed to take the short online test as he drove—just “for fun.” The questions were simple, even obvious, and would allegedly identify one of five Love Languages: Touch, Gifts, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service or Quality Time. https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/ I remember mumbling about how no one in their right mind would chose anything but Quality Time, and sure enough, my test results proved as much. (I mean, who would publicly choose “receive an expensive watch” over “go on an adventure” in a hypothetical scenario?) I announced this to my partner but realized, as I was filling out the quiz, that the person I imagined adventuring with was not, at the moment, sitting next [...]

By |May 27th, 2020|Uncategorized|

7 Success Principles in Love & Dating

1.   Be specific in what you are looking for – Like any business, in life you shouldn’t go into something without a vision and a goal. Love is no different. Without a vision, you are heading out blindfolded. Without a goal, there is no strategy. It is for this reason that so much precious time can be wasted in one’s journey in search of love. People wrongly view love as a separate pillar in life along with other pillars like career and friendships, but really love is not a separate pillar. In fact, it is part of the foundation of all those pillars. So allow yourself to start enjoying the creation of your ideal love story and start imagining what life would look like when you can share your life and successes with a significant other. 2.    Let love come to you – The reason most people avoid love is because they are tired of one disappointment after another in the world of dating. They are tired of all of the time that is spent swiping online and trying to figure out when and where they can meet people. It is time to stop “looking” for it. Love is not just a feeling to be felt, it is an action that needs to [...]

By |May 27th, 2020|Uncategorized|

The Case For Choosing Your Own Horoscope

Have you ever felt like your zodiac description was so perfectly you that astrology as a whole felt rooted in some kind of undeniable truth? Yes, same. But after coming across a new year horoscope that made absolutely no sense to me, I began to wonder if I’d been leaning into traits simply because "my horoscope told me to". After reading this bewildering horoscope, I felt desperate for meaning. Was there something I didn’t understand? Was this a bad omen? Am I truly a Sagittarius? I tried re-reading it, looking for clues about what this New Year might hold for me. After nearly giving up, I instead decided to find meaning elsewhere—or perhaps, not so far away—and to read a different sign’s predictions. I began to wonder if I’d been leaning into traits simply because my horoscope told me to. Instead of going completely rogue, I chose my rising sing. To my great comfort, this prediction made perfect sense for me. Was it because my rising sign represents, on some deeper, truer level, who I really am? Or, perhaps, is the zodiac limiting my own perception of myself? Is the zodiac limiting my own perception of myself? I decided to read the descriptions for various [...]

By |May 27th, 2020|Uncategorized|